Current mood:

hopeful

Wiping the slate clean
So I was going to write this big heartfelt message about wiping the slate clean but I forgot half of what I wanted to say. So here is a summary:

As of midnight tonight, the slate is getting wiped clean. If you have done anything in the past to hurt me, at midnight tonight the "statute of limitations" is up and I am putting it behind me. Similarly, I am forgiving myself for stupid things I have done in the past. Depression will be a lifelong struggle for me, and I seriously cannot continue to live in such a way that I am constantly beating myself up for my mistakes. I don't want to get to the brink of sanity again. I got told this year that I might have a personality disorder and that I am having hallucinations of things that aren't happening. A lovely thing to be told of course. I'm refusing to get to that point by clearing the slate. It will be a brand new year with new possibilities.

After all, I cannot fulfill my purpose if I can't even be at peace with myself.

On a lighter note, here are my resolutions:

1. Lose the 15 lbs I gained this year.
2. Let things go more easily.
3. Make steps towards opening my own aviary.
4. Take the risks that I've been afraid to.
5. Make real progress towards my financial savings.
6. Eat healthier.
7. Exercise more.
8. Get out more - there are like 15 different types of conventions that I want to go to this year.
9. Be a good "mama" to my birds.
10. Not let school stress me out as much.